it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
