hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i think i just naturally attract stoners
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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