there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
