That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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