oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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