i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
