Will you blow on my dice?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Congratulations! We have a period
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