well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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