We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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