Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
ttyl tear gas
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
