His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize