Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
