We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Randomize