did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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