If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I need moral support for this bender
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
