You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
