I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
