just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
