isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
