I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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