fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
