I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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