she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
