I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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