wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just had sex on a roof
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
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