went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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