I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
