i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize