Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
