there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
