i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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