Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
