at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Why are your pants in the freezer?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Couch. On fire.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
