her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
