K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
