i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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