The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
