I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
