just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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