my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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