While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
