Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
