I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Hippo gnu deer
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
