He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
