I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
