he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
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