There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
