I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
this is an emotional support booty call
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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