Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize