your room smells of hookers.
And success
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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