please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize