Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Randomize
