do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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