He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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