____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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