We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
