are you still at the devil's house?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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