Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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