break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
