Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
