You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I have fence marks all over my body
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
