the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
