Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
