What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
