she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
