is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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