When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
