So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
