I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Randomize
