Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
