Define "chronic" masturbator.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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